There And Back Again

Sometimes I feel like Bilbo Baggins.

Bilbo Baggins is the hero of J.R.R. Tolkien’s book The Hobbit. In the story, he is recommended by Gandalf the wizard to go on an adventure, as an expert burglar. Only he doesn’t begin as much of a hero - or a burglar - at all. In fact, he has every characteristic of someone who is not a hero. He is small – hobbits only stand about three or four feet tall – not much to contend with men and dwarves and dragons. He is also not very brave. He likes his posh life in his comfortable home. He has never burgled a thing in his life. He was the least likely person that should have gone on the adventure. That is what he thought, and that is what his companions thought. Bilbo Baggins is not of much use, they all said, but Gandalf assured them that he would prove himself more useful than even he knew.

So they set out on their adventure, to go to places that Bilbo has never heard or dreamed of, and to do things that he never could have imagined. He soon becomes a burden to his companions, always getting them into trouble, and causing much more trouble than they think he is worth. Many, many times he wishes that he had never came on the adventure, and that he was back at his home having tea. However, whenever someone grumbles against him, the old wizard Gandalf always says something to the effect that “he has much more worth than you know.” Gandalf saw what Bilbo could be, and believed that he would one day be that person.

Several times Bilbo finds himself alone, in the dark, starving, with no way to find his path again, and he has to make a choice. He can either lay down and die, or he can summon all of his courage, to do something that he has never done before, something that he is terrified of. He has never had a battle of wits with an underground creature, where he faced death if he was outsmarted. He had never battled giant spiders. He had never helped anyone escape from dungeons. Nonetheless, these are the things that he faces, and his only hope is to try with all his might.

In the end, through all of his trials, Bilbo does become the hero that Gandalf said he would be. Even he never thought that he could be that hero, but that was what he became.

Sometimes I feel like Bilbo Baggins.

God has sent me on a great adventure. He has laid a call on my life. He is sending me to do things that I never could have imagined. But sometimes I don’t feel like I have what it takes, and I have all kinds of excuses. “I’ve never done what you’re asking me to do before! I am not who you say I am – you expect too much out of me! I am small and insignificant! I am not brave!” But I followed.

In Habakkuk, God says “For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told.” When we first meet the judge Gideon, an angel of the Lord calls him a “mighty warrior,” which at the time, he clearly is not. God sees what we cannot see in ourselves. He sees what we can become, and if we are willing to follow him, we will become that person.

Still, at times I find myself feeling like Bilbo. There are times when I feel like I am more of a burden than a help. There are times when I wish that I was “back at home, having tea.” That is, doing something more easy and comfortable. There are times when I feel totally alone. There are times when I don’t know where the path is. There are times when I feel like I am shrouded in darkness. But, if I am going to follow God, I have to be courageous, and step out boldly against things that I have never faced before. The good news is that those are the very places when I have the chance to become the person that God knows I can be. Romans reminds us of this truth.

““But my righteous one will live by faith.
And I take no pleasure
in the one who shrinks back.”

But we do not belong to those who shrink back and are destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved.”
- Romans 10:38-39

I am not perfect. I haven’t mastered this thing called life. I am still on my way to wherever God is leading me. But I know that I have to try. I have to give my best to this God who sees something worthwhile in me.

In the book, after all is said and done, Bilbo writes down all his adventures and he titles them There And Back Again. In the end, when all of his trials are over, he gets to go home. We must always remember that we, too, are headed home.

“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
- II Corinthians 4:16-18

I was blessed this week by a book that was written 73 years ago for children, and I hope that you, too are blessed.

Until we’re home,

Josh